I suck at titles. And other things, apparently.

I am waiting with clenched fists to find out whether I've been accepted to the seven MFA programs I applied to. Daily, I imagine backup plans in the event that I get rejected from all seven (which I feel is quite likely). Suicide notwithstanding, these backup plans include:

1) traveling to visit friends who live in cities that aren't New York
2) becoming a pastry chef
3) becoming a pastry chef...who sings!
4) writing more and working until someplace accepts me at some undetermined future point in time (a very viable fourth option)
5) getting married to esteemed poet R.C. Daley (which I plan on doing anyways)

Yupyup, I'm ENGAGED. Alexandra Lynn Sears, the Mozart-obsessed (former) junior high school student who spent her free time making bubonic plague beaks out of extra fabric is now getting married to someone awesome and brilliant.

My mother sent me a book called "Martha Stewart Weddings," which is like double-rainbow on a sunny day coincidence meets Maurice Ravel meets awesome meets jumping up and down in a field of hanging pointsettias meets puppies--blonde French bulldog puppies. I'm not really sure what that means, but you might, and I commend you for it!

The thing is, I want to have the best wedding ever, and by best wedding I mean open bar with a klezmer band. No lie. As long as people are drunk, dancing, and laughing their heads off, I am totally down. I'm also thinking of having the reception in a science museum, which means underneath DINOSAUR SKELETONS. What's better than marrying the man you love most in the world in the shadow of a triceratops floating from a lofted ceiling? (answer: absolutely nothing) Um, plus cupcakes and barbecue ribs.

Weddings aside, I had a great idea for a video project last night. So, I was doing intervals on the elliptical machine (I know, I know, Suckfest McYuppietown USA) and watching the UN Channel on the attached television, but the sound didn't work, so I was listening to La Bouche on my ipod. 90's Jock Jams + Abhorrent Poverty=Jarring/Disturbing/Thought-provoking. So I want to make a montage of poverty and war images set to upbeat dance tunes (I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT), then intersperse it with slow, sad Coldplay while Heath Ledger's sad, drug-addled face looms above. People (myself included) are so desensitized to poverty and blight that they don't even pay attention--all the while, many tears were shed for the late Australian actor/sexy person whose only good movie was "Ten Things I Hate About You." Which wasn't even all that great, if you ask me. And don't even get me started on "Brokeback Mountain."

Just a thought. Kind of a generic project, but the first idea for a video project I've ever had. Too bad I don't know jack shit about video.

I made yellow cupcakes with buttercream frosting (dyed pink) for my friend's birthday tonight. I can never seem to make my baked goods look pretty, but damn do they taste good (except for these chocolate peanut butter cupcakes I made for Valentine's Day last year, which tasted like old coffee and rocks).

It's weird keeping a blog. I feel irrelevant.

Self-Mutitillation or: Reason Numero Uno, and yes I just said Numero Uno

After visiting the Cloisters for the second time (taking phone pictures of sinister-looking saints and primitive unicorn faces), I found a ridiculously awesome compendium of Medieval Beasts in the bookstore. I'm pretty sure if I don't buy it on amazon.com, something horrible will happen to me. Like: I won't learn nearly enough about Medieval beasts.

I also decided to start a blog about the following things:
-WRITINGS of all kinds (mine)
-books I've read (love! hate! ambivalence!)
-gasp-worthy observations, possibly involving the most important matters: Whitney Houston, The Boer War, and/or Express for Men (no thanks!)
-how much I dislike blogs, my dislike being a manifestation of fear or otherwise (there are, of course, blogs I enjoy wholeheartedly, and I may discuss these at length another time)
-families (yuck! and by yuck I mean infesting restaurants nationwide!)
-learning to polish my nails without getting polish all over my fingers (perhaps the most difficult task of all)
-eating disorders (fashion!)
-food porn (recipes!)
-learning new things, which I've heard is always a good thing
-Bill O'Reilly's new cookbook!

All of this while shunning anything even remotely hinting at politics at all possible costs. Not because I don't care, but because others can and will do it better. And more power to them!

Sometimes, pictures will happen.

Sometimes, tears.

So many reasons. So many I could punch my fists through a wall and make a sandwich!