Sunday, December 6, 2009
Reason Number 24: There Are Always Cookies Worse Off Than Yours
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Reason Number 23: Reggae is so hilarious, and it doesn't even mean to be
Splash Sperm, Englighten
Old, old lard!
Hmm, a’delivering four ewe, one finer swineherd.
Hmmm, derivative lard friar, hyar! Sexton in lieu
Of compromise, no timid eunuch.
Just give up!
Big manatee rape, pop a sixty year old bayleaf,
A big mangrove ewe papa, young gonad
Pull knight porn, a biddy, old lady.
Abet mange, lick few
moms dung schoolyard, undertaking a Mexican scabie,
But Godhole young, thick, nor nutbutter swell mighty bode, prithee.
Gashing and frightened for the negative version in my brains,
Crash, perm, and quite prim
Plea comfy mash-upward, make up a senseless kenning.
Flash them and fight Dubois, revere, offer—why? teabagging, gumming,
Mashed, dim, indict phlegm,
Ham, Gwar, and come out, dye wagers of skin.
Summer’s Eve, it’s on special o’er at Target.
Off the rocket, signet, call it, whack it, sparkle!
Unlove your leash, see dung and pork it
and “Stop, Carrie, water innards, Basquiat,”
Sung Moammar Kadafi, snuffed, “charmeuse is law.”
Ionic pushpin till bloodspurt drawl
All die wrong, buoy spew half toupee. Fish.
Dunce bat, je ne se qois, not smart
Come and tell me, say you don’t have newt hearth.
A long timid wiki priest, and a caulk.
And until you give Diptychs a stalk,
Utah. They tell me you’re nuts, fried fist-poppet, scoff,
Caw! You love her, tepid dog. A balk.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Reason Number 22: Life is long, maximize analysis
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Reason Number 21: There are more words for HATE than despise
abhor, abominate, allergic to, anathematize, be disgusted with, be hostile to, be loath, be reluctant, be repelled by, be sick of, be sorry, bear a grudge against, can't stand, contemn,curse, deprecate, deride, despise, detest,disapprove, disdain, disfavor, disparage, down on, execrate, feel malice to, have an aversion to, have enough of, have no use for, loathe, look down on, nauseate, not care for, object to, recoil from, scorn, shudder at, shun, spit upon,spurn |
Reason Number 20: villanelles are less amazing than cupcakes and more amazing than sandwiches
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Reason Number 19: Blog Renovation is No Longer Just for Pussies
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Reason Number 18: Hiatuses from blogging
This might be disturbing for some, but for me it means ENORMOUS Iced Coffee (which cost only fifty cents on April 21st).
Today, I also ordered a croissant, which wasn't nearly as bad as one might imagine.
So, I suck at blogging. But my school year is essentially over, so maybe this summer will be reserved for more extensive digital recounting of my dull, hyperextended existence.
In other news:
-I'm learning photoshop! And flash! I really want to make a flash story/movie that evolves through time. I realize this makes very little sense.
-I'm starting a new blog with wee brother Dougles. It is a fashion-oriented blog with crazy awesome clothing on display (and for sale). I will let you know when it launches. It's partially online now but looks like garbage because I can't fix the header or the sans-seraph font (gross!).
-Salt and Vinegar almonds are delicious.
-I think I might like writing academic essays. It's almost more empowering than writing fiction, especially fiction no one likes.
-I don't really see a problem with wearing Denim on Denim anymore. Especially if it's done right. There are crimes way worse, like non-functional hats (newsboy, fedora, scally caps, those gross oversize headbands with fake peacock feathers that abound at Urban Outfitters).
-I want to challenge myself by writing a story with an intense plot with simple sentences. I just might die trying.