Reason Number 22: Life is long, maximize analysis

Definitely try Apple Pancakes, courtesy of Smitten Kitchen.

2 eggs, beaten

1.5 cups milk

2 cups flour (I used 1 white, 1 whole wheat pastry flour)

1 tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1/4 cup sugar

3 golden delicious apples, peeled and grated

Mix the eggs and milk in one bowl, the dry ingredients in another bowl. Combine them, but gently. Never overmix pancakes. I've learned this the hard way. Fold in the apples.

I added 1/2 tsp cinnamon and 1 tsp vanilla, as I believe NO baked goods suffer from a teaspoon of vanilla extract. Especially the Madagascar kind they sell at Williams Sonoma.

Oh yes, I'm a yuppie. And it's okay. It's okay to forego life essentials like paper towels in favor of the best vanilla extract available in stores.

I say this as I drink an enormous Dunkin Donuts coffee in lieu of the organic chemex-brewed Costa Rican beans I crave.

Revision: I'm not a yuppie. I ride the bus. And use Cetaphil.

Reasons why I might be a yuppie:

-specialty cupcakes

-Columbia University

-I listen to NWA while perusing balsamic vinegar brands at Dean and Deluca.

-several varieties of gummy vitamins

-lavender essential oils

-i phone

-A.P.C. desires

-bikram yoga

-no less than fifteen pilates DVDs (I don't use them anymore!)

Reasons why I am kind of not a yuppie:

-my apartment

-I've never been to Paris. Or Venice.

-Sunbeam cravings

-An ability to discuss diarrhea with poise and an open heart.

-I don't think Grizzly Bear is all that special.

-I have no idea how to use i phone

-I feel a sense of extreme relief upon entering WalMart, Target, and any drugstore (especially Walgreens)

-my cat is retarded

-I ALWAYS buy generic brand paper towels, toilet paper, garbage bags, CEREAL (!!!), canned goods (I just said CANNED GOODS), and sometimes shampoo.

-I don't enjoy discussing Chekhov with strangers. Or flirting.

This could go either way. I'll leave it to you to decide.