Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Reason Number 2013: Dealbreakers, some more obvious than others

at the risk of being a broken record, hats
(subheading: fedora, Panama, driving cap, tam, BERET, wide-brimmed, floppy, and, for that matter, hair accessories of almost any kind)
Burning Man
long leather coats
McSorley's as favorite place
dumb, contextless Sanskrit mantras chanted by white Brooklynites in an otherwise inoffensive yoga class
self-aggrandizing Macbook photobooth sessions
use of "no?" as rhetorical device, e.g. "Roberto Cavalli really nailed it with his fall '11 RTW collection, no?"
thinking Spanish is an easily-learned language
St. Patricks Day
real, raw emotions felt over sports you're not actually playing
over-involvement costuming oneself
New Years Eve (though even I'll admit there've been some good ones)
Guess by Marciano
Inception, obviously
elaborate smoking devices
people who discuss hand-rolled cigarettes other than to say "I think I'll roll myself a cigarette" or "Would you like me to roll you a cigarette?" or some other logistical concern
talking about how much you love the 80's
James Franco
being offended
sudden acquisition of an accent
referring to Bob Dylan as a poet
for that matter, referring to any song lyrics as poetry, unless you're talking about Great White
uttering the phrase "style icon"
expensive, coordinated exercise clothing
refusal to wear sunscreen in predicaments that require sunscreen
elaborate menu substitutions
rudeness to service people
making fun of the homeless
bath products made to smell like desserts
diet tips
adult braces
refusal to make fun of people who do deserve it, goddamn it
LAN parties
stringently and inflexibly adhering to a theme when throwing a party
insistence on making a particular face/affecting a particular posture in pictures for any reason
most quotes
ordering soup at restaurants in which the soup is not prioritized, or generally well-regarded
Las Vegas
most facebook status updates
pretty much all references to St. Tropez
prescriptionless glasses

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Reason Number 2012: People be fluting

Rejection is a mother. And I mean mother on multiple levels.

Ahem, I'm never the kind of girl to pine over boys at shows, and I think this officially takes me to an altogether new level of lame, but:

Employment of atypical instruments, or instruments used in atypical contexts? Snags me every time.

Writing a cover letter is one of the least enjoyable yet most necessary tasks. Up there with tampon insertion and swallowing enormous calcium supplements, but at least those take two seconds.