Sunday, April 10, 2011

Reason Number 2013: Dealbreakers, some more obvious than others

Zionism
at the risk of being a broken record, hats
(subheading: fedora, Panama, driving cap, tam, BERET, wide-brimmed, floppy, and, for that matter, hair accessories of almost any kind)
Burning Man
long leather coats
McSorley's as favorite place
dumb, contextless Sanskrit mantras chanted by white Brooklynites in an otherwise inoffensive yoga class
self-aggrandizing Macbook photobooth sessions
use of "no?" as rhetorical device, e.g. "Roberto Cavalli really nailed it with his fall '11 RTW collection, no?"
thinking Spanish is an easily-learned language
St. Patricks Day
real, raw emotions felt over sports you're not actually playing
espadrilles
limousines
over-involvement costuming oneself
New Years Eve (though even I'll admit there've been some good ones)
Guess by Marciano
Inception, obviously
elaborate smoking devices
people who discuss hand-rolled cigarettes other than to say "I think I'll roll myself a cigarette" or "Would you like me to roll you a cigarette?" or some other logistical concern
talking about how much you love the 80's
James Franco
parades
being offended
sudden acquisition of an accent
referring to Bob Dylan as a poet
for that matter, referring to any song lyrics as poetry, unless you're talking about Great White
piercings
uttering the phrase "style icon"
expensive, coordinated exercise clothing
refusal to wear sunscreen in predicaments that require sunscreen
elaborate menu substitutions
rudeness to service people
making fun of the homeless
bath products made to smell like desserts
diet tips
adult braces
refusal to make fun of people who do deserve it, goddamn it
LAN parties
poker
stringently and inflexibly adhering to a theme when throwing a party
insistence on making a particular face/affecting a particular posture in pictures for any reason
most quotes
ordering soup at restaurants in which the soup is not prioritized, or generally well-regarded
Las Vegas
most facebook status updates
pretty much all references to St. Tropez
prescriptionless glasses






7 comments:

X said...

"real, raw emotions felt over sports you're not actually playing" This one has always annoyed me. Even if you are playing, it's just a game. A GAME. Unless you're in the fucking Olympics or other type of world championship type competition, chill the fuck out. Fat sloppy dudes who scream at people for blocking their view of the football game need to die.

Veronika said...

I will have to disagree with some of them:

1. Hats (I have to say, I've always loved them, even though I nearly never wear them. Gangster movies, just looks too classy and cool.).

2. Emotions about sport (sometimes, they involve way more than sport itself, therefore the emotion xD)

3. Loved Inception

4. I don't smoke cigarretes but Hooka's and shishas (would qualify as complex smoking devices, I guess), do have a something, taste and feeling.

5. Piercings, as long as wisely chosen and discrete.

6. I loved las vegas: but the reason is quite a long story, though.

For the rest of them, I strongly agree with most of them. I guess, if we all agreed, the world would be very, very, boring.

Nice talking to you in the half-fake mexican restaurant tonight. Talk to you when I get back to NY :)!

P.D: I hate topic parties.

Gisboorne said...

What the fuck, why was this girl's account on. I am not veronika, I am frankie - -'!

Ryan said...

Veronika,

Whoever you are, you have terrible taste.

Ryan said...

Gangster movies are lame. Hats -- unless practical -- are lame. Hookahs are also lame, especially when it's not part of your culture to smoke them (read, annoying white folks going to hookah bars to "experience the other")...lame.

Gisboorne said...

Great argumentation, saying something is lame, just because.You made your point in a very clear and spectacular way. Now, apparently, things have to be from your culture to do them.

X said...

I think it's pretty obvious that this entire post can be summed up by saying, "Posers are dealbreakers." BUT, it's much more fun reading about all the stupid poser shit that goes on around town. For example, smoking hookahs. Yes, it's lame when posers do it. Try it once, maybe twice for the novelty? Ok. No need to make it a habit, though.