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Ugh.

Reason Number 2013: Dealbreakers, some more obvious than others

Zionism

at the risk of being a broken record, hats

(subheading: fedora, Panama, driving cap, tam, BERET, wide-brimmed, floppy, and, for that matter, hair accessories of almost any kind)

Burning Man

long leather coats

McSorley's as favorite place

dumb, contextless Sanskrit mantras chanted by white Brooklynites in an otherwise inoffensive yoga class

self-aggrandizing Macbook photobooth sessions

use of "no?" as rhetorical device, e.g. "Roberto Cavalli really nailed it with his fall '11 RTW collection, no?"

thinking Spanish is an easily-learned language

St. Patricks Day

real, raw emotions felt over sports you're not actually playing

espadrilles

limousines

over-involvement costuming oneself

New Years Eve (though even I'll admit there've been some good ones)

Guess by Marciano

Inception, obviously

elaborate smoking devices

people who discuss hand-rolled cigarettes other than to say "I think I'll roll myself a cigarette" or "Would you like me to roll you a cigarette?" or some other logistical concern

talking about how much you love the 80's

James Franco

parades

being offended

sudden acquisition of an accent

referring to Bob Dylan as a poet

for that matter, referring to any song lyrics as poetry, unless you're talking about Great White

piercings

uttering the phrase "style icon"

expensive, coordinated exercise clothing

refusal to wear sunscreen in predicaments that require sunscreen

elaborate menu substitutions

rudeness to service people

making fun of the homeless

bath products made to smell like desserts

diet tips

adult braces

refusal to make fun of people who do deserve it, goddamn it

LAN parties

poker

stringently and inflexibly adhering to a theme when throwing a party

insistence on making a particular face/affecting a particular posture in pictures for any reason

most quotes

ordering soup at restaurants in which the soup is not prioritized, or generally well-regarded

Las Vegas

most facebook status updates

pretty much all references to St. Tropez

prescriptionless glasses

Reason Number 2012: People be fluting

Rejection is a mother. And I mean mother on multiple levels.

Ahem, I'm never the kind of girl to pine over boys at shows, and I think this officially takes me to an altogether new level of lame, but:

Employment of atypical instruments, or instruments used in atypical contexts? Snags me every time.

Writing a cover letter is one of the least enjoyable yet most necessary tasks. Up there with tampon insertion and swallowing enormous calcium supplements, but at least those take two seconds.