Monday, December 27, 2010

Reason Number 100000: Story Balm, Overshare

"How would you write the perfect story of getting a pap smear?"
--Gynecologist, This Morning, upon my admission to being a writer

Hands down, the best question any doctor has ever asked me. It really made me think, how would I tell the perfect story of getting a pap smear? As I drove to make manifest my prescription for Nasonex, and also to purchase a Neti-Pot for the purpose of alleviating extraordinary nasal congestion--for those of you with sinus problems, I discovered today that this bizarre blue teapot works wonders, though it feels counterintuitively uncomfortable--I realized that because of one thoughtful physician I could go back and revise a years-old story, potentially with better results than I'd thought possible.

Thank goodness for no surgery. Daily nasal exercises, equalizing pressure. Perpetuity.

Today, after hospital overkill, I will grade. And also seek out antiques beforehand.

I would give anything to be in the library right now. Peace and quiet, the imminence of a low-hanging concrete ceiling, the soft mildewy odor of brittle Asian volumes. Rarely visited study spots. And more.

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